I’m crying oh my fucking god
i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE
"Your highness" is gender neutral.
So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.
alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”
please note that “your grace” is also acceptable
at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it
when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?
why aren’t these being reblogged more often?
i rather see these than “keys in hand”
Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest?
I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)
Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.
Step 2: Duck!
Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.
Step 4: Knee him in the balls.
Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.
Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.
Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.
Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.
reblogging again for that^
Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on.
the pacific rim au of legally blonde though:
elle woods trying to get into jaeger academy to win back warner.
"you got into jaeger academy?" "what, like it’s hard?"
elle woods being drift compatible with vivian.
elle falling for LOCCENT officer emmett.
elle and vivian piloting a jaeger called delta nu.
THE BEND AND SNAP AS A FIGHTING TECHNIQUE
#first rule of the avatar fandom #ALWAYS REBLOG THAT’S ROUGH BUDDY
can we just collectively agree as a generation that we aren’t going to care if each other’s houses are clean when we visit bc im gettin real sick of the “the house has to be spotless or our guests will judge us” deal my parents got goin on
none of us in this generation is going to be able to afford a house.
Welcome to the house i share with 30 people. My 4x4 foot square of space has been vacuumed for your visit.